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Coloring Book

And a new voice
Asked
Why do you like all those old sad songs
Are you lamenting
Over losing someone
Did she break your heart
And now you can't
Get her off your mind

Ah what a question
Do I remember old times
Past lovers
Steamy nights
And stolen moments?
Of course I do
Just as I remember
How it felt
To walk along
Hand in hand
A shoulder brushing mine
Light laughter on the breeze
And the thought that this walk
Was taking us somewhere
Somewhere special
Somewhere I longed to be

Do I remember soft lips
Caresses
And a feeling that the old cliché
Walking on clouds
Never came close to describing?
And when the music plays
Those songs
The songs from those days
Does it echo in my mind
And touch my heart
With a memory of each moment
Of joy
Bound in time to this particular melody?
And sometimes
Late at night
Especially on THOSE nights
When the moon glows through the window
When the knowledge that I am alone
All alone
Though perhaps surrounded by friends

On THOSE nights do I remember
My heart in my throat
When love died
In flames
That devoured me
And very being?
Do I remember the emptiness
That followed
That haunted me
When all the world seemed to be a couple
Only to remind me
Of the emptiness beside me?

Do I absolutely ache
Thinking of the times I gazed
Deep into the eyes
Of that special one
Just before the magic began?

Do I remember the first sweet kiss
Not the one that was just a peck
For goodnight
But rather the first real one
That began
As lips touched softly
And then pressed on more firmly
As the warnth flowed
And streamed from head to toe
The kiss neither wanted to end
The one that was the start
Of many to follow

The answer to all these questions
Is yes
Yes I long for it all
Yes I remember, I still feel it all
But the funny part
Is that I don’t remember
Whether those eyes
Were blue or brown
Of some shade inbetween.
Was her hair gold in the moonlight
Or some darker hue
Funny
But those parts were not recorded
In this sometimes painful log
Of memory
But the feelings were
Oh, I can remember every touch
Every squeeze on my heart
But not who put them there

When I walk in the moonlight
With thoughts and songs echoing
In my head
And this longing in my heart
There is no name on my lips
No face that appears before my eyes
It is just the feelings that are still alive
There is still the desire
To have it again.
Lord, lord
Let me find it
Let me wallow in it
Isn’t this the best that life offers?
Isn’t this what makes all else
Worthwhile?
Oh to have it before me
Like a coloring book
To add the color of the eyes
Then the hair
And then scribble her name
Across the page
And across my heart
Let me feel that lump in my throat again
That comes when joy
Just simply overwhelms
And touch
How I long for touch
How I long for touch

Dec 3, 2005